Feb 8, 2012 - Uncategorized    6 Comments

Lord Voldemort’s Birthday

I was wrecked with grief,
As the clock ticked closer to midnight,
with its hands standing
as straight as the soldiers I trained.
None of them remembered.

I dejectedly gazed around the room,
taking in the cobwebbed corners
and the scuffled dust where
a nameless henchmen
was thrown to the ground in rage.
Seven minutes to go,
and still the dank house was mute.
I could not punish them,
for that would remove my skeletal mask,
but just for today,
perhaps,
that would not be so bad.
Reality seeps in,
like cold air through the
once enchanting windows.
It lies,
“They are followers,
not friends.”

I lit several small flames,
I extinguished them alone.

-Tom

 

 

Ryan Greenwood

6 Comments

  • I enjoyed your poem from the title. :) I love the passion and feeling you put in it by saying “wrecked with grief” that made me understand where your character was coming from. Your word choice was perfect. Dejectedly, seeps, and extinguished were good for the context of your poem. It was great from start to finish. Good Job!

  • I too loved the premise behind your story. The thought of Voldemort having a birthday is completely foreign to me! The premise was so good that I was hooked from the title. I enjoyed how you kept the tone of the poem dark, as though we are finally seeing the emotionally cracked side of Tom, the side who still feels powerless and alone after all these years, surrounded by “followers not friends.” A couple of things stood out to me though. First, I’m not sure Tom would ever admit, even to himself that he was “wrecked.” Lonely, hollow, unfulfilled maybe, but to full out say that he was “wrecked with grief” seems a little much. I also really want to know WHERE he is, in which house, what room, I would love to put a place to all that imagery. Finally, and this is nit-picky, but were the windows actually enchanted or just beautiful?
    Eve

  • I loved the subject of the poem and you really made me feel that Voldemort was sad about nobody remembering his birthday. Maybe if he felt more people cared, he wouldn’t be so mean. ;-) I do think, however, that if he was that angry, more heads would roll, probably random heads, all over the place….hahAHa! Great job!

  • This was really interesting. No matter how much you read Harry Potter, you never think Voldemort has an emotional side. Good job bringing that out. I could actually see Voldemort saying that, it actually sounded like him talking. It’s interesting also, because I’ve wondered how old Voldemort actually is. I thought you had a couple cliche lines. The way you described the house is the most stand out cliche. I also liked how you signed the poem “Tom” that really tied everything together.

  • Great title! Got me right from the start. It was also really interesting how you show an emotional side to Voldemort outside of anger and hate. Good use of details. The image of midnight and the birthday was a little cliche but I understand why it was there.

  • I think this is such an interesting perspective you give here. The villain that we all grew up with has a birthday too. I especially liked the way you described Lord Voldemort in the room “taking in the cobwebbed corners” as he
    “dejectedly gazed” were both really specific details. I think I loved the last lines the most though, because that truly captured Lord Voldemort as character he does what he has always known to do best “extinguish”. I was confused about the word “scuffled” in the 3rd line of the second stanza, so maybe a different word could help clear that up. Nice job

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